“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” – Jim Carrey
Managing money doesn’t begin with how much money we have or earn, it starts with managing our expectations.
The important thing to look at is how realistic our expectations are and what motivates us to this end. Regarding Jim Carrey’s above quote, if we aspire towards something merely for the perceived glory or self-fulfilment that we expect to gain from the end result, we are likely to be disappointed.
We do not have the power to manipulate the final outcome of our aspirations in this way. We need to work towards a deeper motivation for meaning and value instead of seeking it externally or on a material level.
Another way to approach this shift in perception rings true in Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous words, where he said that life is not about the destination; it’s about the journey.
By shifting our focus around our expectations in this way, it is far more likely we will reach true fulfilment in all areas of life.
Everything is connected – so expectations that we have in one area of life will most certainly impact the expectations that we have around managing our money. From marriage to managing responsibilities at work, from kids to continuous professional development, here are a few common misaligned expectations that we should be able to talk about and overcome:
- Things bring happiness
Material things and external conditions such as money, fame, accomplishments, and even the approval of others don’t equate to fulfilment and happiness. We need to look deeper to find what we need to feel valued and appreciated.
- The outcome is within our control
We can only control our expectations of a positive outcome, but not the outcome as such. Whilst we don’t want to ‘expect to fail’, we need to be flexible when our plans take a different direction and remind ourselves that the memories are in the journey, not the final destination.
- We are all ‘the same’
There is no common denominator in life, it is different for everyone, and we all need to find our own paths and do our personal work. Even when we do our best, life will not always be fair; not everyone will like us, not everyone will understand or agree with us. Embracing compassion and empathy for others will help them own their space to be themselves too.
- Changing ‘them’ will change how I feel
It’s not easy to accept that we cannot change others. But, our journey improves when we realise that we only need to be accountable for ourselves. We can choose the company we keep and surround ourselves with those who build us up, not bring us down.
While many of these ideas can seem esoteric, they’re all connected to every decision we make. From how we spend our days to how we spend our money, the more mindful and intentional we can be, the more we will be able to see growth and endurance in our choices.
Let us at WellsFaber help you ask better questions, manage your expectations and work towards your success.