“Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought.” — Emily Dickinson
As unexpected as it might seem, the transition into old age can catch us off guard, not just physically but financially too. The high cost of elder care, often shouldered by families, underscores the critical need for early and effective financial planning. According to recent information that our team has gathered, many families pay substantial amounts out-of-pocket for nursing home expenses, with the average cost of full-time private care ranging from R10,000 to R40,000 per month depending on the level of care needed. [source]
Initiating conversations about finances with your parents and siblings can be delicate. It’s a topic wrapped in emotional complexities, partly because it forces us to confront the uncomfortable realities of ageing and dependency.
However, these discussions are essential—not only to ensure that our parents’ needs are met but also to safeguard our financial well-being and prepare for future responsibilities.
Here are several strategies that can help make these necessary conversations more constructive and less daunting:
Start with Empathy
Before you even broach the subject of finances, it’s crucial to acknowledge and process your emotions regarding your parents’ changing situation. Whether you feel anxious, frustrated, or sad, recognising these feelings can help you approach the conversation with calmness and clarity.
Offer a Loving Invitation
When you’re ready to talk, lead with compassion. Let your parents know that your intention is rooted in care and concern. You might say, “We’ve been thinking about how we can ensure you have everything you need as you grow older. Could we set aside some time to discuss your plans and how we can support you?”
Choose the Right Moment
Timing is everything. Find a quiet, relaxed moment to talk, away from the hustle and bustle of holidays or family events. Remember, the idea of discussing financial matters might be new to your parents, and they might need some time to warm up to the discussion.
Address Specific Concerns
Be clear about why you’re initiating this conversation. If you’re worried about potential financial scams or unsustainable spending habits, express these concerns directly and respectfully. Ask if you can help in specific ways, such as overseeing bank statements or discussing investment strategies.
Embrace the Journey
Understanding that these discussions are not a one-time deal but an ongoing dialogue can relieve some of the pressure to get everything right the first time. Each conversation is a step towards more open communication and better preparation.
At WellsFaber, we recognise the importance of these discussions in the broader context of family wealth management. Our team is here to support you in facilitating these critical conversations and developing strategies that respect everyone’s needs and aspirations.
Remember, managing family finances is not just about maintaining wealth—it’s about enriching the lives of those you love.
We advise, you thrive.